Relationships are like improv scenes.

Guest blogger Christian Perfas finds the common ground.

Now, hold on just a sec: they might not always have troupe names or group names and no I don’t need any suggestions, what I mean is that it’s just you. Your partner. That stage. And the world.

An army of friends and family, all stoked that you’re up there, finally pursuing your passion; applauding your call to action
looking to you as the last respectable, male bastion of this forgotten art form.

Because yeah, relationships and improv are an art, to uphold and behold;
and they deserve to be upheld and be held firmly and close to the heart.

And they’re a beauty to watch unfold,
as the distinct ingenuity of two separate souls intersect to create something incredible together.

And you’ve trained for this.

Spent months in front of the mirror, planning all those jokes and witty rejoinders and reminding yourself to maintain eye contact whenever possible.
But when the time comes for you step out into the light with your partner for the first time,
it’s like all that training flies right out the window, and your perfectly planned first line becomes an, “uhhhh…. so… what are we doing again?”

But she just laughs and plays along and somehow the scene keeps flowing. And yeah, you’re not entirely sure where it’s going.

But hey, you’ve improvised yourself to where you are right now without even knowing.

So just post up and pause. Breathe. Take a second to take in your partner, and I mean really take her in.

Concentrate. But not too hard. And appreciate. What she’s done so far.

And when you open your mouth, even if you don’t agree with her, make sure it’s a “yes and.” Because she’s sticking her neck out for you playing this game alongside you, allowing herself to be vulnerable.

And what she says next might not be what you anticipated but that doesn’t make it any less of a gift. So accept it, unwrap it, and show everyone just how beautiful and unique it is.

And don’t stress about returning the favor, you already have. As long as you’re in the moment, playing at the height of your intelligence, you cannot fail.
Don’t worry about who, where, or what you are. You’ll discover that in time

All your lines have already been written on the inside of your eyelids; you don’t need to think, you only need to blink to remember what to say and you can always pull inspiration from that created cloud of ideas that float between the two of you.

Don’t stress about where you started or where you’re going or how you’ll get there; you’re constantly creating your own choreography, coalescing creative concepts with your confident comedy consort.

And you’re building this universe you share together from scratch and upon these imaginary rocks you will build your church, your foundation.

So it’s important to ensure that the creative process paces match, It doesn’t matter who lays down that fictional brick first. Your imagination will be the only limit to where you and your partner can go or what you can share and create in that space.

Just remember to have fun and not pay too much attention to that pesky audience.

Because it’s about you and your partner. And what you build together.

And the feeling of being in that moment when nothing else matters, when everything else fades and all of those half lines and short moves and optimistic object work somehow lead to the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

And yes, it will be confusing at times.

Awkward, uncomfortable. Silent for a beat that seems to last an eternity... Talking over each other and then not talking enough. Heavy-handed and laden with jibberish. And occasionally sad.

But it’s always worth it. Because it always brings out the best in you. And if you’re lucky, it can and will lead to love.


Live - Laugh - Love.

As Martin deMaat said, “You are pure potential.”

Christian Perfas is an actor improvisor, multimedia journalist, versatile Vocalist and two-word phrase enthusiast. Check out his website here

Written 5 years, 11 months ago.
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